Grateful
by Amarante Akio
Summary: Jasper made a mental note to start being grateful for what he had.


So I wrote this for a friend months ago and just recently found it on my computer so I figured I might as well post it. ;) As always, criticism is more than welcome.

By the way, ".." means talking and '..' is someone's thoughts.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything associated.

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Grateful

Jasper sighed contently and closed his eyes as he stretched out on the roof top. If it wasn't for the fact that he was on the roof of an abandoned factory, in the middle of Washington, with the sun dancing on his sparkling chest, he would almost look human. But that kind of beauty didn't exist in humanity, only in a world of fairy tales could anyone come so close to perfection.

Being exactly 125 miles away, he was far enough away to where he was hard to find and out of Edwards mind reading range.

"What are you doing up here?"

Or so he thought.

He decided years ago that Bella's voice was the most beautiful voice he'd ever heard. It stayed in his head long after she was done talking. He didn't bother to open his eyes but felt the breeze change for a second as she slide down next to him, a little closer then he would of thought she felt comfortable with.

"Its nice to get away every once in awhile you know? Not have the whole family breathing down your neck," Jasper answered. "Plus its secluded, far enough away from people to where I don't have to have everyone's feelings thrown at me."

"Oh... I'm sorry, did you want me to leave?" Bella's feelings of doubt, embarrassment, and self-consciousness were directed his way.

He smirked, 'As if I could ever let you leave...' Without ever opening his eyes, his hand darted out and grabbed hers as she tried to get up. "You stalked me this far, you might as well stay," Jasper said in a playful tone.

"I wasn't trying to stalk you! Edwards just been so..." her voice trailed off, sadness radiating off of her.

Jasper rubbed his thumb over her smooth skin, soothing her with waves of calm. He could feel her loosen up and lay back down.

"Thanks," she whispered. He paused, regretfully pulling his hand away.

It didn't surprise him to find that she had followed, shed been tagging along with him a lot lately. Not that he minded, it was nice having her all to himself.

The silence that surrounded them both was comforting, just the sound of the breeze and the smell of her hair.

"Why do you still wash your hair?" he asked, catching a strand in between his fingers.

Bella smiled, "I guess some human habits are hard to get rid of."

"You would think after 60 years of being a vampire you'd be used to it by now," Jasper noted, turning on his side to face her. Only half of Bella's face was exposed to the sun rays, making it appear as if she had half a mask of diamonds.

"There's a lot of things I wish I was used to..."

"Like what?" He played dumb, as if he couldn't feel everyday the sadness, regret, and depression that sometimes seemed to threaten to take over her. He knew the main reason she was around him so much was because she was using him, even if she didn't realize herself, to get some relief from her own feelings. Jasper was like her medicine, the one thing that could relieve her pain.

"Not being happy," Bella whispered so low that only a vampire sitting so close could hear.

"It'll come back," he said firmly, scouting closer so their arms were brushing. He'd never verbalize it, but if her using him provided an excuse to be so close to her without raising eyebrows, he'd take it.

"You've been together longer then most humans ever come close to. Plus taking into account the fact that you spend almost every second of every day together, it can start to take its toll. Its perfectly natural that the passion has faded. Alice and I-"

"You love Alice, I don't even know if I can say that about Edward!"

He couldn't help but be taken aback, he knew what her feelings were but he didn't think shed ever say it out loud.

"I can't even say that I love my own husband." Bella shook her head in disgust of her own words.

"I thought I could love him a thousand or even a million years back when I was 17, but now? I can barely look him in the eyes anymore."

Jasper hated himself at that moment, because as she was feeling the worst he could ever remember, his own feelings were that of triumph. For the first time in 62 years, Bella wasn't drooling over his supposed perfect brother, for the first time he actually had a chance.

Bella practically launched herself into his chest, tearless sobs spilling over as she desperately buried her face into his chest.

Jasper sighed and pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her small form, his skilled hands rubbing comforting circles into her shoulder.

"What should I do Jasper? If I don't love him then why make us suffer for another 60 years? Based on a romance that was rushed?"

'Exactly! Dump Edward!'

Something his family never really paid attention to, was that it wasn't just the feeling of calm that Jasper had control over, it was over everything. Sadness, happiness, jealousy, anger, he could do it all. He could make her fall in love with him, one touch and she would be all his.

But even without his abilities, he knew what kind of spot she was in, at that moment, she trusted him more then anyone in the world. Considering how vulnerable she was at this moment, all he would have to do was agree with her and she would dump Edward. Bella would look at him as her own personal savior and would start to mistake those feelings of gratitude for love. Sure, shed feel guilty about betraying Alice at first but shed soon get over it. He knew he could convince her of just about anything.

"Just tell me what to do," she repeated, face still buried in his chest.

So easy. So fast. Two words, that's all it would take.

His lips slowly parted, fully prepared to tell her exactly-

And then she looked at him. Those eyes-those deep, heart broken beautiful golden eyes with the unique spot of chocolate near the pupil, a sign of her past life that refused to disappear completely, looked at him. They reminded him of a time when sadness couldn't even touch her. A time when she was truly happy, a time not spent with him.

"You should take a week off Bella."

Confusion glossed over those eyes that he couldn't look away from.

"Take a week, or even two if you want, off. Get away from Forks, from this whole damn state if you need to. Take a week to actually just be by yourself. Which means no phone calls home, no stopping by to check in, no communication with Edward or any of us and see how you feel."

Bella pried herself out of his arms and sat up. She looked off in the direction they'd came, as if she was going to be able to see their house in the distance. "But Edward...I mean he'd never-"

"He's going to be absolutely terrified of you being alone for that long but trust me, he'll let you go."

When she locked amber with his own, he thought for a split second she knew. She'd always been so perceptive, so good at reading people, so how could she never see what had been right in front of her? How had she missed all the longing stares after her? The way he always seemed to accidentally brush his arm against hers when they were walking just to have an excuse to feel her smooth skin against his?

"What if it doesn't change anything?"

Vampires technically lacked the ability to get tired, but exhaustion was the only word to express what was heavy on her features. Well, maybe two words: exhaustion and fear.

Jasper's fingers made its way to her arm and the familiar swirling began, almost instantly causing the fear to slowly blossom into feelings of hope.

Bella's hand rose and gripped his, lightly at first and then tighter.

He smiled warmly through the pain, the smile that had the ability to melt any girls heart. All except the one he really wanted; he could have laughed at the irony of it all.

Bella didn't have to say thank you, the gratitude leaked off of her in waves. She released the grip she had on him and stood up, after a quick smile and less then a seconds hesitation she off.

Jasper stared off after her for awhile. All Bella and Edward needed was a break, after a week they would remember why they fell in love in the first place and the spark would be back. That ray of happiness that came off of her in all directions would return, causing everyone, including Edward, to naturally gravitate towards her.

Jasper looked up and saw that he'd been sitting so long that the sky was now full of stars, so many it was a wonder that they all managed to fit up there together so perfectly.

Alice's worried face popped into his mind, she and Edward both didn't like their loved ones to ever be too far away. He smiled, a true smile at the thought of his wife. She was a good woman, everything he could ever ask for in a mate.

"But shes not Bella."

Jasper assumed that maybe this was the part where he was supposed to turn around in shock, eyes wide, mouth agape, desperately trying to hide his own thoughts-

"But there would be no point," Edward finished for him.

Jasper showed no recognition that his brother was there, but then again he didn't need to.

"You've known for forever haven't you?" Jasper wondered.

"Forever," Edward agreed.

'So why didn't you ever...' Jasper mentally trailed off, not sure how to finish it.

"I suppose because I couldn't blame you. She is, after all, very easy to love."

Jasper allowed a small smile, so very much an answer he'd come to expect.

"Your mind is sometimes ridden with selfish thoughts like any other beings, but in the end, you are a good person Jasper."

Words of encouragement wasn't really what he wanted to hear.

Edward smirked, "I know they aren't. I guess a thank you is in order but I guess there is one last thing on my mind."

Jasper didn't have to be a mind reader to know what Edward was asking. With all the influence Jasper had over her, why didn't he take full advantage? They both knew that this chance might not ever happen again. This very well might be the only opportunity Jasper ever got. Why didn't he take it?

"Because," Jasper answered aloud, finally looking over at the man he couldn't compete with. "Bella was never mine to take. She's always been yours."

Edward was stunned into silence and didn't move as Jasper jumped down, adding yet another dent in the earth to his many before it. As he walked at a painfully slow pace, matching that of a human's leisurely stroll, his beautiful wife's face popped into his head once again.

There was no doubt in Jasper's mind that the feelings he had for Bella went much deeper than a simple crush, and he wasn't sure if he was ever going to be able to completely get her out of his mind. But he had a woman at home that loved and trusted him, one that would do anything for him without a second thought.

Jasper made a mental note to start being grateful for what he had.


End file.
